The Unexpected Link Between Past Lives and Procrastination
So I am not sure how this will translate for people who are not familiar with the work I have done which has helped me immensely over the last 3 and a half years but here goes anyway.
I did one of the most powerful sessions ever with my coach last night that I wanted to share it.
I spoke about the fact that I was particularly struggling to edit a couple of episodes of my podcast that I have done and actually release them into the world.
I seemed to have this hidden resistance to doing this specific task and I was frustrated with myself as to why.
Whilst we did the session I realised that I did this with a lot of tasks that I need to do. I just never seem to get round to actually doing it. I have to do it, I want to do it but there is this invisible wall stopping me.
This is essentially deeply personal to me but I wanted to share it as it may help others.
Just to set the scene. I do a lot of intuition work and did a number of courses with someone called William Whitecloud. (You can Google him).
His modality of training completely changed my life from being a victim to being a creator of my own life. There are a few people who do similar work like Chris Duncan and Robert Fritz.
They run free courses to teach you the basics and then you can do paid courses to further your education.
One of the tools that we use is called a conflict deconstruction. It breaks down the reasons you have a particular problem with something.
It essentially changes your mindset around the problem so that you can see it for what it really is. Rather than what you think it is which is normally coming from a victim mindset.
The breakdown of the tool is to firstly define what the issue is.
What are our thoughts about the issue.
How do we feel about the issue.
What definition have we given to ourself as a result of facing this problem.
How do others deal with this problem we are facing.
How do we see the world in general at this moment.
After that, we go deeper to uncover the truth behind this problem.
We firstly go into a mediative type state where we relax and don't worry or think about what's happened during the day etc.
As my coach reads out the different steps, I respond as to what comes up for me. Essentially, what comes into my head first which is my intuition responding.
So, defining the problem as I am not editing and releasing my podcast episodes even though they have been done.
My thoughts around this is that; there is a lot of other stuff I have to do. It's not a priority. I'll get to it in the future (that never comes). I'll be ridiculed for being successful.
My feelings around this are; Frustrated that I don't know why I am not doing this task. I'm fearful of something. (I get a big reaction in my stomach when the emotion of fear comes up)
What definitions have I given myself; I'm not capable, I'm not good enough and fear of success (Father related).
How do I see others as I face this problem; I believe others find it easier, they don't have the resistance and they aren't scared of failing.
How am I seeing the world right now; It's brutal, unforgiving and relentless.
The next step was for me to think of an age in early childhood or just life. My coach asked how old I am. I basically just repeat what comes into my head which is age 8.
What are you experiencing?
My dad is talking to me. I'll never be successful. I don't try hard enough. I don't work hard enough. He's disappointed. (I think it related to swimming training). He talks to me and then turns his back and walks away.
What are you deciding?
I feel powerless, disempowered and weak. I have to push myself really hard in everything that I do. I'm worthless, won't amount to anything. My dad wanted me to work really hard and he want me to have the same experience of life (even though it wasn't good.
What is the underlying assumption?
I'm not good enough. I need to suffer to deserve. I can't like myself.
Where is the power? (What do you make important/What do you put a lot of energy into?)
Being obsessed with working hard. Take the hard path rather than the easy path.
What is the inevitable end result of that preoccupation?
Hamster wheel of working hard and never getting anywhere = suffering and struggling. Not bothering to try because it's going to fail (Despite the truth that it won't)
Then a memory of a past life came up for me (This specific memory has come up a few times for me)
Hunting party in ancient Japan. I am the leader and also the sole survivor returning to the village. I have guilt for being the only one coming back.
I was ostracised, people turned their back on me. I was shamed. Coming back alone was worse than death. I had to suffer as penance for eternity as I had let everyone down and run away.
Healing the wound and reframing the problem as a creator. (Go back to this early life experience and bow down to everyone's greatness, especially your own.
Now, how do you see the old experience from the standpoint of your greatness?
What’s done is done. There was a misunderstanding. My dad re-living and was unknowingly projecting onto me - he wasn't aware of the impact. Deep down, he always wanted what was best for me.
Everything was a misunderstanding and a story that I made up in my head. Something I have done to myself rather than someone else's expectations.
It is a belief that I have made up. The villages in my past life where actually rejoicing at my return but I was so wracked with guilt that I refused to see what was in front of me.
Bow down to your greatness now.
How do you see the current conflict (problem) from the standpoint of your greatness?
When I change what I see from a different perspective, it is a different outcome. I am making it bigger than what it is. It is easier than what you think it is.
Obvious orientation
It is simple and easy. Just take the action and get it done. Make it easy and playful. No stress or pressure.
Conclusion
You can see from the above that I have been punishing myself for past and even past life events. I made up beliefs which have been playing out throughout my life. Feeling that I have to suffer and struggle to get anything.
Making it difficult for me to achieve anything easily.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and feedback and what you got from this (if anything)?
Thanks for restacking Sandra. I appreciate it :-)
Wow! Some really good work being done here! I totally empathize with you Colin. I procrastinated for years and still do with some things, although thank God it's not as bad anymore. The reason for me was always fear. Fear of what other's would think of my work.
That fear originated from childhood from being bullied in school and watching my mom always run around to try to make everything perfect because "no one could hate her". Definitely missed out on a lot of love, communication and attention that a child needs while growing up, so I'm working at forgiving my parents now due to a "misunderstanding" that I've built up in my head for so many years.
I do believe all parents want the best for their child, but we're all human at the end of the day and most of our parents didn't know how to deal with their trauma and issues growing up. So they in turn project that onto their kids without evening knowing it.
Thanks for sharing this type of work. These deep journeys really do have the power to heal generational and even past life trauma!