Are you self sabotaging your life? How to break free from suffering.

Not all people are aware of their suffering. It just becomes normal day to day life. There often needs to be an event or incident where a person decides enough is enough.

There must be a better way to live their life. Surely, life cannot be this hard. Perhaps they have suffered with depressions for many years or bad things just keep happening to them.

When you have the awareness to look around you, you observe that it appears that other people have better luck than you. So why is that.

What are you doing wrong. What are you doing different to these seemingly very successful people who seem to have everything while you feel you have nothing.

While we would love to have loads of money and not have to worry about it anymore, there is a lot more to life than simply having money.

For some people, money is more of a curse than a gift. Hard to imagine for some of us but it is true.

When can sit there and surmise that these people with lots of stuff (big house, fancy car and so on) are very happy with their life. This is not necessarily true.

We all have demons, regrets and fears. We all have belief systems from our childhood that hold us back in life. Money doesn't solve everything.

There are many examples of very rich people who go on to do really bad things and end up in jail for the rest of their life. Incredulous that they would throw it all away.

And yet, it proves the point that money doesn't solve everything. Everyone is fighting an internal battle. Perhaps the millionaire is really struggling on how they become a billionaire.

The point that this puts them in the same frequency as someone who is poor. They are not happy and not content with their life.

Despite their material possessions, they are still struggling. There is still some kind of internal battle going on.

So how do we deal with this?

We start asking questions.

We firstly need to understand what the belief is that causing this struggle. We all have different belief systems. Mostly created for us to survive childhood but they stick with us for the rest of our life.

Unpicking why you do certain things, can be uncovered by understanding the different belief systems.

When we uncover the root cause of a behavior, then we can start to understand what is going on in our brain and consciousness and begin to make changes.

A lot of what we do in life, repeated patterns etc. all happen subconsciously. This means we are not aware of them. We never spend the time to look back at our life and see the patterns that keep repeating for us.

We may have had a tough relationship with one of our parents. And what normally happens is that we find a partner who is a replica of that parent. We fall madly in love with them because they are so familiar.

Their behaviors resonate with us. The reality is that the relationship is REALLY bad for us. The relationship will probably end at some point and then we may find someone else similar to the previous person and repeat the pattern again.

This will continue endlessly unless we become aware of what is going on. When we meet someone who challenges our belief system, we react badly.

We believe things are the way they are from our perspective which is based on our beliefs. When someone has a different perspective, it causes conflict.

Now, we may think this specific person is (list of insulting names) because they do certain things. We are convinced they are a bad person.

The reality is, they just have different beliefs to us. It is not personal. There is nothing wrong with the other person (most of the time).

But because our belief systems clash, we hate them and then they are really horrible. In reality, they are not.

Again, developing the awareness of different belief systems in instrumental in understanding people.

When we understand where people are coming from then we can see what is going on for them (good or bad) and we can have empathy.

An example of a strong belief systems is, I am not good enough. This will plague us in our life in many different forms.

• We can't have a beautiful, intelligent partner because we are not good enough.

• We can't earn lots of money because we are not good enough.

• We can't have a great job because we are not good enough.

What happens when we do get something really nice as per the examples is that we sabotage it.

Can you look back at your own life and see when you sabotaged something really great in your life. How about others. Can you see when someone who seemed to have everything sabotaged their own life.

This is because the is an underlying belief system in play which says they are not good enough. Understanding that this is simply a belief system and not truth, creates awareness.

Awareness means that when something great happens in your life, you have the awareness to not sabotage it. This can dramatically change your life.

Imagine, having loads of great things in your life and keeping them. Not finding a way to lose them as you normally would because of this belief that you don’t deserve them.

Another example of a belief system is, I am not capable. In a situation where you need to stand up and take action, you simply won't. The situation will snowball and get out of hand.

All because you have this deep seated belief that you are not capable and indeed, are not allowed to be capable.

You will always wait for someone else who is capable to come along and save you. Perhaps you will seek a partner to save you.

This creates a problem because you always need someone else to save you, meaning you are powerless. It solidifies and confirms the belief.

You can imagine that you can become a bit of a nightmare. Relationships will fall apart because it is not healthy to need saving all the time. This pattern will continue to repeat itself until you have the awareness to recognise and stop it.

You will also do bad things deliberately in order for someone to have to save you. This will again concretize the belief. Again, very unhealthy and unhelpful.

I will go through other beliefs in a follow up post.

Have a think what beliefs you think you have in your life and what patterns are repeating.

Let me know in the comments. Be brave and vulnerable and I will try and guide you in the right direction. This is life changing work.

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